By: Donovan Taylor Hall

“The Life of Galileo” opening night was the kind of show that makes me want to lie about being a Theater minor.

I should have known it would end up like it did, from the creepy music that played during the pre-show at Harris Theater.

The play began and immediately I noticed how uncomfortable a few of the actors looked with their hands. They had no idea what to do with them. It could have been nerves, but it looked like they were trying to conduct a symphony.

The first act dragged on with scattered laughs, the occasional line slip up, and the redeeming acting of two of the characters, Galileo and the Cardinal Inquisitor.

In front of me, sat a frat boy with a backwards baseball hat, slumped down real low. He kept dozing off and making snoring noises. I wanted to wake him up, but not because he was being rude, but because I was jealous he was getting to sleep.

A couple of times during the play, I found myself wanting to stand up and yell out to the actors “Can you repeat that line, SLOWER AND LOUDER?” like I do with the kids I teach in my acting class.

At one point, the play got too campy for me and I found myself daydreaming — looking at the EXIT sign near me, I began planning what steps I would take if zombies were to suddenly interrupt the production. I’m pretty sure my roommate has a crossbow.

Thankfully, intermission hit just in time. Standing in the hallway, I began debating how important seeing the rest of the performance was to my grade. Responsibility reared its obnoxious head and I headed back in.

Surprisingly, the second act was more entertaining. It could have been that the frat guy left, but my motivation was back. There were more laughs, stronger performances and decent script writing.

But of course, they had to ruin it, by introducing some character who sounded like he was crying every time he talked. And what about the guy with the lisp? Whose bright idea was it to give him lines that had so many s’s?

Then out of nowhere came a loud drum and tambourine. Actors started saying lines together and they came dangerously close to breaking out into song, “Glee”-style. No, thank you.

Despite my complaints, the actor who played Galileo did a great job, and there a few others who didn’t bug me too much. The set was impressive and the costumes were good, I guess. The finale was the only time in the play that commanded my attention the whole time.

If you aren’t as pessimistic as me, check it out for yourself. The show, put on by members of the Mason Players and Theater of The First Amendment, will run until April 7.

Galileo may have tried to prove the Earth moved, but one thing that wasn’t moved by this performance, was me.